Huffington Post Wineogram: Hipsters Drink Chardonnay, Adults Prefer Cab

 


Love 'em or hate 'em, Millennials are the next generation of wine drinkers and wine makers.
 
In a tongue-and-cheek effort to help Millennials decide what to drink – Chardonnay, Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot and Pinot Grigio were on the list – Huffington Post published a top-down decision diagram sprinkled with pop culture references and playful stereotypes.
 
“Generation Y is not only our now but our future, so we're shedding light on what you should be drinking,” introductory statements to the chart said.
 
Titled “The Wine Diagram for Millennials: What Should You Be Drinking?”, the decision chart begins with “Morning Preferences.” The two choices below this topic are “Listerine” and “Mimosa”. 
“Have some fun as you journey through this infographic,” the story said. “Let us know which drink you end up with; be careful though, there is a possibility you could end up in (infamous Toronto mayor) Rob Ford's penthouse.”
 
Cabernet Sauvignon is perfect for those who use mouthwash in the morning, shop online and read the iTunes user agreement when downloading music.
 
“You need a drink,” the chart said, pointing readers to Cab or liquor to ease their stodgy ways. 
 
If you're the type of person who prefers a mimosa over mouthwash in the morning, wears glasses to fit in, doesn't know who Kanye West is and prefers to spend a Friday night biking through town with a bag of cheap beer, your wine of choice should be Chardonnay.
 
Merlot is for the free spirited, the chart said; it is recommended for those who prefer to start their day with a mimosa, who think Kanye should marry himself instead of Kim Kardashian and for those who would rather party with Rob Ford in his penthouse instead of attending a masquerade ball with R. Kelly.
In a nimble move representing the varied interests of Generation Y, the chart allowed for a second line of reason to lead to Merlot – those who would enjoy a frat part with Seth Rogan over getting stuck in an elevator with James Franco. 
 
If you're less a Roganite more of a Francophile, the chart said, Pinot Grigio should be your wine of choice after you use mouthwash in the morning and decide you aren't going to read the iTunes user agreement. 
 
Summaries at the end of the story characterized each type of wine drinker. 
 
“Congrats, your wine of choice is the Cabernet Sauvignon,” the story said. “You rank among the elite class, you are likely to have more than one scarf and your friends probably hate on you for having 'priorities.' Am I right or am I right?”
 
Chardonnay drinkers might as well tear the gears off their bikes and settle in for a night of Mumford & Sons, the article said.
 
“Fake glasses, 1am bike rides; it's safe to say you're the hipster type,” the story concluded. “Chardonnay is far from mainstream and there's a myth that it's mandatory for all Brooklyn residents.”
 

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